Did I do anything that mattered today? I struggle living missionally knowing that each day matters. Each day I'm making an impact on someone...good or bad. Did I make someone feel used and unimportant today; or did I make them feel special and unique. It's my choice how I react to situations everyday. (at least thats what I tell my students)

The other day a student shared a burden with me. I was completely at loss of how to react and what exactly to say or do. I cannot understand her pain and it would only dimish it if I said I know how she feels. So, we sat there together and cried for her hurt. Her heart was broken and my heart broke for her.

Somedays, the most important thing I can do for those babies that come to me everyday is to love them, unconditionally, despite everything. Even after they yell, curse, scream...and defy me. I do love them and my heart so goes out to each of their situations. They can't control their lives beyond themselves, but they can make choices for a better tomorrow.

We aren't defined by our circumstances, but we are defined by our choices. I can't control situations/circumstances I am put in, but I can control my reaction to them.


                                                                                                   

"For a child of God hopelessness is a the most unnecessary condition in the entire bag of mind tricks..." Beth Moore

Often we feel as if the world is falling apart at its very seams. Everything that we were founded on is coming apart...nothing will ever be the same. Christians shudder and feel helpless at current events. Ironic though....the darker the night, the brighter a simple light shines. Hopelessness is a myth. A myth that Satan invented to keep us incapable of moving forward in our lives... and living contagiously. I feel empowered though to live my life and make a difference... to love one, the way I wish the masses could be loved. Now is my time (& your time); Don't give up just when people around you need you so badly. Your life matters. You matter. 

       I feel like as girls, ladies,....women, whatever; we are so jealous. I know I am. ALL. THE. TIME. It's like I can't just be happy for someone who gets married, finds a boyfriend, has a baby...all I want to do is list 10 things that they should have done better, like that's helping. It's not. Life is hard enough without everyone telling me (or me telling them) what they should have done better or how they could have followed the Bible closer. I finally realized like two weeks ago, that I am not helping by analyzing everyone's life and personal choices. I wish instead of judging someone; I would just be their biggest fan because most of the time....she is doing her best. 
   
       So, ladies I am proud of you. I proud of how well you are juggling your life right now. I am proud of the healthy choices you are making or how you are treating yourself. I am so happy for you if you started dating someone...or if you are having your 2 year, 2 month, 2 week, or 2 day iversary. I'm so happy that your man proposed to you, and you're starting your life together or if you just went to look at rings the other day. I'm so excited for your job promotion or I'm still cheering for you as you are working towards your dream job. I am proud of you, young mommy, who is trying to keep up with all the confusingness of being a mom...I can't imagine doing what you do, day in and day out. You are amazing. I'm rooting for you too single ladies, who are still alone; but not settling...  I really know how you feel. I'm proud of you for deciding against texting that loser back ( or even if you did once or twice... I'm proud that you got your head on straight now--been there.) So, girl...wherevever you're at know that I am in your corner even if you do make a mistake now and then...it's okay because even if I want to pretend I don't I totally do ALL. THE. FREAKIN. TIME. 
                                your biggest fan,
                                    natalie edith

Anamoly

something that deviates from what is normal, standard, or expected. 

Girls like me aren't suppose to be teachers in at-risk schools. We're suppose to say in the suburbs and teach students, who have both parents and aren't used to shootings their neighborhoods. Kids that grew up like me. We're suppose to get married young and be protected and provided for. 

Expectation. Timelines. Perfection. ....will be the death of me. 

The system is broken...you'll never make a difference. Those kids are too far gone. You'll get hurt. It's dangerous. You should be careful. (All words, I heard and spoke to myself about being a teacher) 

I know I can't change the world, but if I can love one child or one coworker; then it'll be worth it. Every time, I get cussed out or sized up. Everytime I've felt degraded, out of place, or in over my head. 

In my weakness, He is made strong. (2 Corinthinans 12:9-11) I've been told I'm a strong person. It's kinda become something I hold to....something I'm proud of. It's like my armor  that I hold up. I'm strong. Unbreakable. Undeniably born under 2 brothers, that encouraged me to go farther, run faster, jump higher, and not be scared. It's not wrong to be strong, but when it makes me lean into myself and not on God it is So. Wrong. Teaching has done exactly that, made me realize that I don't have to be strong. I don't have to be in control. It's okay to be in over my head. Because, maybe... in over my head....is exactly where I need to be. 

"They say we don't fit in, but I say we are exactly who God created us to be, Anamolies"                                                                -Lecrae 

Some days I'm a mess,

other days I hide it better. 

Love. What is it? That's an age old question....but from one of my students perspective.

Me: Love, what is that?
Student: Like Granny and Papa.

I would have to agree.  

This day Monday, November 18, 2013 deserves a celebration because you see I once was lost, but now I am found. I once was blind, but now I see. Sin was deep, but His love and blood was greater still. So, I celebrate this day and everyday, that Jesus Christ has made me whole. Even though I'm not perfect I struggle everyday with realizing who I am in Christ and what he did for me. It's a  beautiful struggle with ups and downs. I struggle with the importance of what I am doing now...is it worthwhile. I don't want to "run" in vain. (Phillipians 3:2) I feel the teeter totter of freedom in Christ and using my freedom in Christ for my own advantage.(Galatians 5:13)  Life isn't always beautiful, sometimes it hurts. Last week at this time I called my best friend to run to the hospital with me because my dad had been admitted. not easy. God is faithful to me though, even when I am not faithful to Him, and that my friend is the beauty of grace.

Stop. it. 

Stop it. Just stop. Seriously, stop going to church. Stop giving clothes to charity. Stop being friendly. Quit Bible study. Just stop. Stop singing in church raising your hands up high. Stop giving tithe. It's worthless, pointless really. Profits nothing......without love that is. If I give my body to be burned, but don't have love. I am nothing. If I raise my hands in church apparently praising the One who died for me, but don't love my brother (or enemy) my worship is null and void. If I go to a forgein land, and live my life spreading the gospel, yet I don't love, then I have done it all for nothing. 

This thought is obviously not orginal with me. It comes from 1 Corinthians 13. Agape love....true love is so much bigger than me. May I live each and every day in an understading that the people around me are hurting literally, fighting hell. Love them inspite of themselves not because I am capable in myself, but because He loved me first. 

Matthew 1:79 To give light to them that sit in darkness and in shadow of death to guide our feet into the way of peace.

Oh, that my life would revolve around bringing people into a peace with God and showing them the light.

"There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully around with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket--safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy or at least the risk of tragedy is damnation. The only place outside of Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbrations of love is Hell.

C.S. Lewis

"If you do not have beauty of character if you do not have nobility of soul you will be but a flame without heat, a rainbow with color, and a flower without perfume." 
Vernon McGee

You are my Peace.
You are my Contentment.
You are my Joy.
You are my Love.
You, oh Lord, are my King. 
                               natalie edith

I made this today. It's dairy free "lasagna", which kinda makes it not lasagna, but it was delicious! I baked it all the way till it was bubbly and crunchy...the results were just amazing. here is the link. I'm dairy free, which was hard at first, but I totally getting used to it and lovin' it! 

P.S.

I registered for my LAST semester of college....AHAHAHAH! so happy. 

but for real, try the lasagna, you won't regret it! ( just maybe don't tell the man ( or men.....i have brothers) in your life whats in it till after, especially if they are picky eaters.) 


Happy Friday! have a great one....for me its gonna be school and work all weekend long, lame! this is the part of the semester that really kicks my butt. 
If you didn't read  this blog last week, when i posted it you should. Its beautiful.

"A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down is someone who matches you on accident...everyday of your life."


-Arnold Glasglow ( modified by natalie hannah)

This is what is right outside my window...the smell just wafts in and warms my soul. I love the smell, somehow i convinced my daddy to get it a few years ago, because it would attract bees which would help the garden. I may or may not have some in my room....:)

This is outside my other window.... ( I was green, before green was a thaaaaannng. #BlakeShelton.
I love(and hate) our little garden.


Great Quotes from Daddy
"Child, a garden is alot of work"

New favorite song!

hey, good girl with your head in the clouds I bet I can tell you what you're thinking about,
you see a good boy, gonna give the world....

-Carrie Underwood!

Such a great song, I love it=)

favorite website Ironically my website is called the goodwomenproject and the Carrie song I love is called "Good Girl". I think I got like a theme going here.....I'll see what else I can find, lol :)

PS
my computer went kablewie! <---not a good thing!

The ones we love.

Today, I scrolled down my phone....bored. Then, a name flitted across my screen, Grandma Marroletti. I scrolled back down to her name, and sat down. Tears filled my eyes as I thought I should probably delete it. I would never be able to call my sweet white-haired grandma, not to chat or to ask a question. I would never hear her soft voice across the line strong with wisdom, yet gentle in the same sentence.

It's been 6 months...it still hurts. I guess love is like that. When you loose someone you love the hurt never goes away you simply learn how to deal with it. You learn how to look back; and smile, then laugh about the good times we shared. You learn how to not see her pained expression as she fought cancer for the third time, but you see her thoughtful face sewing my Easter dress so I could be the belle of the ball come Easter Sunday.

“There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket - safe, dark, motionless, airless - it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.”
CS Lewis

Farmer's Market! I went to the Farmer's Market today to pick up some goodies there. Favorite part.....Mango Season =D Nothing says spring time like mango juice running down your chin.

2 bunches of bananas-$1
3 avocados-$3
9 mangos- $5
4 tomatos-$2
black beans-$2
2 red bell peppers -$1 <---Farmer's Market Finds:)

For lunch I had an avocado egg salad sandwich on toasted rye bread with all the fixins. Awhile back I decided to try and not eat mayonnaise.... because obviously its not very good for you. However, I love mayonnaise and I love sandwiches.<--BIG Problem! So I decided to start subsituting different things on my sandwiches for mayo such as avocados. So that is where this recipe came from....

Avocado-egg salad
2 boiled eggs chopped finely
1/4 avocado( if you put too much it'll taste like guacamole instead of eggs)
a spoon of relish ( i used sweet bell pepper relish, homemade by my aunt)
a spoon of mustard ( Organic dijon mustard)
salt

yum, yum! now just put that on your favorite kind of bread ( mine's rye or pumpernickel) with tomatoes, lettuce, pickles, onions and whatever else ya like!

For one of my classes I have to read the book "Frankenstein". At first, I thought I would be scared throughout the entire thing ( since I am afraid of imaginary things, more than real things;). I read the first chapter, then thought to myself, this isn't so bad I guess I'll just suffer through the rest of the book. However, I have come to find myself captivated my the story of the monster...at one point I felt bad for him. It is a classic, even if you don't like to read....you should defiantly try it out!

facts:
first Science Fiction EVER! <---its interesting to me and I don't even like SCIFI. I would much rather read Jane Austen.

Springtime is here....baby chicks at the feed store, azaleas blooming, and seeds galore. what's not to love?!