Sunday, May 31, 2015

Anamoly
something that deviates from what is normal, standard, or expected. 

Girls like me aren't suppose to be teachers in at-risk schools. We're suppose to say in the suburbs and teach students, who have both parents and aren't used to shootings their neighborhoods. Kids that grew up like me. We're suppose to get married young and be protected and provided for. 

Expectation. Timelines. Perfection. ....will be the death of me. 

The system is broken...you'll never make a difference. Those kids are too far gone. You'll get hurt. It's dangerous. You should be careful. (All words, I heard and spoke to myself about being a teacher) 

I know I can't change the world, but if I can love one child or one coworker; then it'll be worth it. Every time, I get cussed out or sized up. Everytime I've felt degraded, out of place, or in over my head. 

In my weakness, He is made strong. (2 Corinthinans 12:9-11) I've been told I'm a strong person. It's kinda become something I hold to....something I'm proud of. It's like my armor  that I hold up. I'm strong. Unbreakable. Undeniably born under 2 brothers, that encouraged me to go farther, run faster, jump higher, and not be scared. It's not wrong to be strong, but when it makes me lean into myself and not on God it is So. Wrong. Teaching has done exactly that, made me realize that I don't have to be strong. I don't have to be in control. It's okay to be in over my head. Because, maybe... in over my head....is exactly where I need to be. 

"They say we don't fit in, but I say we are exactly who God created us to be, Anamolies"                                                                -Lecrae